I know that I'm back to the girl with her walls up, refuse to speak out how she feels, refuse to share what is happening to her. 'cos I know I'm no longer in that comfort zone, 'cos I know I have to be cautious of my words. I know I'm stubborn, but that's just me.
I don't want to live a life of 'What ifs', I want to live a life of 'So what?' Everyone is the same yet different.
One day, you might realised you shouldn't have done this or that but don't regret on things you should have done yet you didn't.
So what that we couldn't be like before? So what that I might have forgotten our memories? So what that I have forgotten a part of me? Do all this matter when you realise you have stopped trying? Do all this still matters when you just can't let it go? Do all this still matters when you have already lost a part of me? You can answer all this yourself but I dk what your answer and my answer would be. 'cos I'm trying to deny everything that is rushing towards me, 'cos I'm trying to tell myself 'It's okay', 'cos I'm trying to find the equilibrium.
I don't want to hurt anyone, might it be you, us or even me. It's like fixing a messed up jigsaw puzzle with that key missing piece in your hands and it's just incomplete. What's left are pictures of us to tell our story. I'm sorry to have hurt you in anyway but honestly, who cares about me now? Who cares if i'm feeling torned apart?
I miss us, I miss how we can talked non-stop, I miss how we can be each other's pillar of support, I miss everything about us.
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