Finding the balance

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein

To find the balance in life is no easy task, i'm still trying to find the balance in my life. It takes time to find it, the road down might be tough but i believe i would survive. 
I'm trying to keep moving to find the balance in life, i'm trying to adventure out and find the really me. i am still me, it's just that when you grow up you will and you might have lost yourself in the crowd. Losing yourself in the crowd is like losing your soul, losing who you are and it just seems that you are a walking dead. Honestly speaking, letting yourself out is not easy so is letting go of your past and keep moving on. 
I thought i've always been moving on but i just realised all i did was searching for you in the crowd and pretending everything is okay. Yes, i like to complicate my life and contradict myself, at the very least that was what i used to be. Never did i realised, by letting go i'm freeing myself from all these tortures. I'm not going to make any promises 'cos nothing is meant to be promised and nothing would last forever. 

至少我不会再想那么多，我不会要求自己把事情都做到最好。当一个女强人好累，好辛苦。现在的我只想当个能让自己快乐的我，我不要再让自己感到伤心或难过。
我能多骄傲不堪一击就倒 。一个人到底可以有多少种面具，一个人到底可以在多少人身上找到别人的影子。
我想我已经找到我的答案了。。。

When everything crashes and everything worthwhile crashes

I know that I'm back to the girl with her walls up, refuse to speak out how she feels, refuse to share what is happening to her. 'cos I know I'm no longer in that comfort zone, 'cos I know I have to be cautious of my words.  I know I'm stubborn, but that's just me.
I don't want to live a life of 'What ifs', I want to live a life of 'So what?' Everyone is the same yet different.
One day, you might realised you shouldn't have done this or that but don't regret on things you should have done yet you didn't.
So what that we couldn't be like before? So what that I might have forgotten our memories? So what that I have forgotten a part of me? Do all this matter when you realise you have stopped trying? Do all this still matters when you just can't let it go? Do all this still matters when you have already lost a part of me? You can answer all this yourself but I dk what your answer and my answer would be. 'cos I'm trying to deny everything that is rushing towards me, 'cos I'm trying to tell myself 'It's okay', 'cos I'm trying to find the equilibrium. 
I don't want to hurt anyone, might it be you, us or even me. It's like fixing a messed up jigsaw puzzle with that key missing piece in your hands and it's just incomplete. What's left are pictures of us to tell our story. I'm sorry to have hurt you in anyway but honestly, who cares about me now? Who cares if i'm feeling torned apart?



I miss us, I miss how we can talked non-stop, I miss how we can be each other's pillar of support, I miss everything about us.